An airplane was about to crash, and there were 5 passengers left, but
only 4 parachutes. The first passenger, Bill Clinton said, “I am
former President of the United States,” So he
takes the first parachute, and jumps out of the plane.
The second passenger, said, I`m Antoine Walker, one of the best NBA
Basketball players, and the Boston Celtics need me, so I can`t afford to
die.” So he takes the second parachute, and leaves the plane.
The third passenger, Hillary Clinton, said “I am the wife of the
Former President of the United States, and New York Senator, and I
am the smartest woman in the world.” So she takes the third parachute
and exits the plane.
The fourth passenger, the Old man, says to the fifth
passenger, a 10 year old boy scout, “I am old and frail and I don`t have
many years left, so a as Christian gesture and a good deed, I will
sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.
The boy scout said, “It`s Ok, there`s a parachute left for you. The
world`s smartest woman took my backpack.”
Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what to do, but don’t want to soil their own hands. They are called
Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content to watch while others do the work. They are called
Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with the way others do the work. They are called
Some people are always looking to cause problems by asking others to agree with them. It is too hot or too cold, too sour or too sweet. They are called
There are those who say they will help, but somehow just never get around to actually doing the promised help. They are called
Some people can put up a front and pretend to be someone they are not. They are called
Then there are those who love and do what they say they will. They are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing and lend a helping hand. They bring real sunshine into the lives of others. They are called
A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view mirror pulls to the side of the road. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car.
The man says, “What’s the problem officer?”
Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ticket you.
Man: No sir, I was going a little over 60.
Wife: Oh, Harry. You were going at least 80! [The man gives wife dirty look.]
Officer: I’m also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn’t know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you’ve known about that tail light for weeks! [The man gives his wife another a dirty look.]
Officer: I’m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt!
The Man turns to his wife and yells, “For cryin’ out loud, can’t you just shut up?!”
The officer turns to the woman and asks, “Ma’am, Does your husband talk to you this way all the time?”
Wife says, “No officer, Only when he’s drunk.”